Teacher Dreams

Earlier today I read on my FB wall a comment by a current teacher about the imminent arrival of the "teacher dream." These dreams often recur in the waning days of August but can come at any time of the years. Those who have experienced the famous college dream, in which the dreamer is taking a final test for a class which they never attended, can appreciate the terror of "teacher dream." The college dream can be hair raising, and it's one of those dreams that even though you are aware it is a dream, you just can't make yourself wake up from it. Now the college dream is burned into our subconscious by 4 years of study. Just imagine, then, non-teachers, how deeply a dream can burrow into that part of your brain where such things are stored, when you have been toiling at it for 5, 10, 15, 20, 30, or even 33 years.

Three of my standard and recurring "teacher dreams" for your consideration:

1. The Where's My Damn Classroom Dream: I am wandering the halls of school trying to find the classroom that I misplaced somewhere. Everywhere I turn is another familiar hall, but for some reason, not the one I am looking for. I pass my fellow teachers in these halls and I swear they are looking meet as if they know that I am not where I am supposed to be. If I ever find the room in my dream, then all hell is breaking loose inside upon my arrival.

2. The Bad Kids Dream: In this dream, I am teaching and not a single kid is paying attention to what I am saying. They aren't kids who I know or have ever taught before. They're a bunch of mystery snots! And no matter how I scream or rant, they barely look at me. I had one of my favorite variations of the Bad (Good) Kid Dream when I was still teaching. In the dream, I arrived late to a class in Room 209 in the high school. It contained 30 wonderful students, who I was crazy about. I walked into the room, and they were huddled around the windows looking out. One of them turned to me and said soberly, "We didn't like the man who came in here to see you. So we threw him out the window." I raced to window, pushing through the throng, and looked down the one story to the sidewalk where the man's battered body rested. The body was surrounded by police and firemen. One of the cops looked up and said, "God, he must have fallen 20 stories!" This statement shocked me awake before I could thank my class for protecting me from the "man" or figure how he could fall 20 stories from a 2 story building.

3. The Extracurricular Dream: Mine, of course, involves the plays and musicals. It's always the same. It's 45 minutes to curtain, and we haven't rehearsed once. In some, I am just then handing out the scripts. I, of course, am beside myself with worry, but in every replay of the dream, my student actors always tell me, "Don't worry, Mr. Ellstrom. It'll be fine. We'll make it up as we go along."

Guess what active teachers! Retiring doesn't retire the teacher dreams. Linda and I still have at least one teacher dream each every month, and it has been nine years since we retired. Teaching is such an all-encompassing, 24/7 kind of profession, with so much emotional investment, that it continues to remind you of what you did for all those years in a sort of comic/ironic way.

I saw a clip on Yahoo of a libertarian TV commentator asking Matt Damon if he thought that teacher's didn't care or worry about their jobs after 3 years because they had been granted tenure. The esteemed Mr. Damon bit her head off and her cameraman's head as well. Tenure making things easier!? Tenure has no effect on degree of difficulty. Some people just don't frickin' get how hard and wonderful the job of teaching is! How teachers lose sleep because they fret when their students do poorly and lose sleep because they are elated when their students do well. And when they do fall asleep, their dreams continue to remind them of the stress of their cherished job.

I wonder if people from libertarian TV stations have commentator dreams! Or cameraman dreams.