Because we want to. . .

Phoebe Prince

November 24, 1994 - January 14, 2010

I've been thinking about this post since April 5, but I haven't felt like dealing with it, what with the warm weather, pleasant breezes, and other things not so pleasant. On the front page of that day's USA TODAY was the story, "A watershed case in school bullying?," which described the brief life and tragic death of Phoebe Prince. Fifteen year-old Phoebe and her family had emigrated from Ireland not long ago because of her dad's job. They settled in South Hadley, Mass. an affluent suburb of Springfield. There, Phoebe became the target of bullies, who made her life hell. Maybe it was because she was "an immigrant kid", or maybe it was because she dared to try to become a part of the school's social caste system by falling for a football player. For whatever reason, Phoebe became the target of that new kind of bully, described in the article as "attractive, athletic, and academically accomplished--and comfortable enough around adults to know what they can and can't get away with in school and online." It appears that the school bully is no longer nicknamed Butch and is cruel because of his personal low self-esteem. The new school bully's name is Jordan or Tripp or Ashley or Brooke, and he or she is cruel with a word, a stare, an action, a text, or a FACEBOOK posting. And the teachers and administrators they see everyday, don't recognize the viciousness behind the bright eyes and scrubbed faces.

For months life was awful for Phoebe, and despite at least two complaints to the school by her mom, Phoebe's bullying continued relentlessly. On a Thursday, Phoebe's life became a tragedy. She had been,

"hounded in the library, the cafeteria, and the hallways. . . After school,

as she was walking the few blocks to her family's apartment, one of

her tormentors threw a can of the Red Bull energy drink at her from the

window of a passing car.

"Phoebe's little sister found her in a stairwell, hanging from the scarf

she'd given her for Christmas."

I had to take a very deep breath after reading that for the first time. The article went on to posit four possible explanations for the new bully: "Less play time in kindergarten and pre-school," "more electronic communication," "TV and movies with the wrong message," and "parental ignorance." All, I'm sure, do contribute, but I wonder about the sense of entitlement that these new bullies must have. They live in a designer world with Abercrombie clothes and unlimited texting. They play the upstanding/sweet role so well that, most adults fall for it, and in fact, assure them that they are among the most special of people, possessing so much already, and certain to receive so much more. Is that why the new bullies feel they are entitled to belittle and punish those that they believe don't measure up? After all, what could be wrong with a little physical or mental brutality, when one of the NFL's higher paid quarterbacks believes he's entitled to be a sexual bully.

What bothers me tremendously is that I have no idea what can be done about this horror. Nine teenagers face criminal charges in the Prince case, but the charges were filed at the end of March, and I couldn't find anything about their disposition. Heidi Mitchell recently e-mailed me that bullying laws are being considered by the New Hampshire legislature. Can we legislate against this particular immorality? Ever since I blogged about Columbine, I have given a good deal thought to the widespread nature of bullying and the terrible toll it takes on vulnerable teens. It both angers and frustrates me. I also worry about the lack of remorse bullies seem to show. Soon after Phoebe Prince's suicide, one of the girls who harassed her so constantly, posted on FACEBOOK the single word, "Accomplished."