I'm LOST!

I used to be a LOST-aholic. Watched it faithfully for several years, but it got so "out there," plus I could never tell exactly what part of the year it would be shown in, so I quit "Losting" just about the time Charlie died in that underwater chamber and the ship blew up. Now I know that death and time and space mean nothing on LOST, so I decided that I would start watching again. After all, these were to be the final episodes of the series.

I DVR'd last week and watched the first hour of the new season yesterday. (I think it was the first hour, anyway.) It's the episode where Jack is in the plane with most everybody else. Then he's back on the island with most everybody else. Then the H-Bomb goes off a couple of times. Or the H-Bomb doesn't go off no matter how hard Juliet hits it with a stick or looks at it with her sexy yet puppyish eyes. I think that was the first episode. If I'm wrong, I'd appreciate being informed.

Here's what I discovered. Hurley still looks like the world's largest unmade bed. Jack still maintains a three day growth of beard without ever shaving. Sawyer's hair is always the same disreputable length, and his eyes have remained bright with which to stare at the dying Juliet. Kate is still the hottest tv chick not to wash her hair in seven years. And John Locke! In and out of the wheelchair. Never has to shave his head. Just how many white t-shirts did he bring to the island? Most amazingly, in one scene, he's alive in the cave and dead on the beach, and he's also the smoke monster. They should have an Emmy category just for him: Best Performance as A Live, Dead, Crippled, Walking, Bald Man Without a Costume Change. I also found out that Charlie is not dead, but instead is trying to kill himself by swallowing a condom full of heroin in an airplane bathroom.

Sayed (sp.) is dying, too. Gut shot, as they say in cop movies! Hurley's gotta take him to the temple so the ghost of Jacob can cure him. If I were Sawyer, I'd bring Juliet's corpse along, too. If the temple can cure a guy with his stomach shot to pieces, maybe it can resurrect a woman with her internal organs crushed.

Having said all this silliness, let me state unequivocally that I LOVED THE EPISODE and plan on watching it until the end. I have no idea what's going on, but isn't that one of the charms of LOST. Sometime, in the future accounts of television history, it will be written that early in the 21st century there was a TV series that made little sense and yet many people loved it. And by the way, how can the smoke monster batter people around when it's made out of smoke? Choke them, maybe.