This is a Job for Stacy Foxx and the Double X Girls!

I haven't blogged in a week. I'm two postings away from my 150th entry. I want to blog today, but I'm a bit woozy still from two conscious sedation procedures I had yesterday, which determined that I was internally pristine. So today's blog is going to be cheating. I got a kick out of posting a line from the play SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE BLUE MOON GRILLE on my FACEBOOK profile a couple days ago. So today, I'm going to post a scene from STACY FOXX AND THE DOUBLE X GIRLS, which featured Stephanie McCann, Amanda Clarke Zaengler, Amanda Horning, Catherine Cohen, and Martina Durfee Bex, pictured above. STACY FOXX is a play about a little radio station during WW II and the radio serial, STACY FOXX AND THE DOUBLE X GIRLS. Early in the play, Bonnie (Stacy Foxx) introduces her compadres on their radio serial.

Bonnie:

Well, one night I was talking to four of my friends, and we were all wishing that we could be more of a help with the war effort. Then somebody said wouldn’t it be swell if we were spies or worked undercover for the war department. We were just being silly, of course. But a couple days later when my uncle Ned--he just loves doing sound effects--suggested that I write a serial that we could do on WBTR, I remembered that silly conversation we had. And before you know it, I’d written the first installment of “The Adventures of Stacy Foxx and the Double X Girls.” (she makes her voice very deep) “The story of five young American women, working undercover for the war department, fighting the enemies of America, here on our native soil.”

I’m Stacy. And my four friends who I was having that talk with that night all have parts, too. Nancy Wilson (Amanda Zaengler) plays Vivian Vixen--the femme fatale, Mary Doolittle (Martina Bex) the voice of Spunky Townsend--one tough little customer, Claire Sauer (Stephanie McCann) plays “Big Barb” O’Brien--the muscle of the group, and Jackie Terwilliger (Catherine Cohen) is Naomi Lake, the scientific one.

One of the opening lines features perhaps, the favorite double entendre of the show. Of course, way back then, I claimed it was completely by accident. Right! As this scene begins, the girls are hunting down evil Nazi Herr Weiner. They trap him in a Chinese restaurant and use chubby nun, Sister Corpulenta (Laura Sawyer) as a willing, but shocked, stand-in for the sexy character Vivien Vixen.

Bonnie:

I’m the only one of us who knows what Weiner looks like. I saw his secret photo down at the war department’s secret photo department. I’ll go in and point him out to you Viv?

Jackie:

Don’t you think a German spy is going to kind of stand out in the middle of a Chinese restaurant, anyway?

Bonnie:

Hey, he could be in disguise.

Jackie:

Good point. I’d forgotten that.

Bonnie:

Spread out, gals. Come on Viv. You’ve got a hun to seduce.

Sister:

Saints preserve us. . .I mean I can’t wait to help our boys in the service.

(there is the sound of a door opening, Ned clinks some glasses together and some chopsticks, the girls mumble softly in the background)

Jack:

(in a politically incorrect Chinese accent) You rike table, radies.

Bonnie:

We’re looking for a friend, thank you.

Jack:

OK. Egg loll velly good tonight.

Bonnie:

Thank you. . .There he is Viv. There sitting at the table right underneath the painting of the Great Wall.

Sister:

I see him. He is a handsome fellow isn’t he. Too bad he’s a dirty Nazi. I’ll go over and pitch a little woo in his direction.

Bonnie:

Try to lure him out into the back alley. We’ll get the drop on him there.

Sister:

(beginning to enjoy her role but still a bit tentative) Will do, chief.

Bonnie:

See you out back. Good luck, Viv.

(Ned makes the sound of footsteps crossing the room.)

Sister:

Hello tall, blond and Aryan. What’s a good lookin’ guy like you doin’ here?

Larry: (Nick Roach, in a thick German accent)

Da China man told me to sit here. I vas only following orders.

Sister:

I mean . . .what’s a handsome hunk of a man doing in a joint like this?

Larry:

Oh. I am vaiting for a boat.

Sister:

Really. . . (crosses herself a couple of times) How’d you like to take a little sail around the harbor, skipper?

Larry:

U-boat or mine? (he laughs) A little German humor! Von’t you sit down und have a drink mit me?

Sister:

I’ve got a better idea, baby. Let’s slide out into the alley behind this dump and take on a little cargo before your ship leaves. Whatta ya say?

Larry:

Vy not.

(We hear the sound of footsteps and a door opening.)

Sister:

It’s nice and fresh out here. I hate the smell of Chinese cooking.

Larry:

Ah, Fraulein, you look beautiful in de light of de moon. . .even back here in de alley vere de moon doesn’t shine.

Sister:

Like I said, I hate the smell of Chinese cooking, but ya know what I really hate the smell of? . . German cooking. There’s nothing worse than the stench of Kraut!

Larry:

Vas is loes? Gott in Himmel! Dis is a trap!

Bonnie:

That’s right Weiner, and you’re caught in it.

Claire:

Don’t move ya blond palooka. You’re covered from all sides.

This post may only entertain a few, but, hey, it's February, and my ideas are a bit frozen. (I think this is probably the only time I've written the words "chubby nun!")